Saturday, 16 August 2014

7 Kinds of Employees

1. Worker Bee
This type employee is the grunt of the company. They will do the same thing, 10 thousand times a day, as many days of the week as you allow, for as many years as you allow them to work. They will make honey out of pollen and suckle your tits if you convince them to do so

2. Head Worker Bee
This type of employee, is similar to the one described above, except that they have “seniority” simply by the number of years that they have been in the company, and the times that they have suckled tits. They are the ones that organize the worker bees and recommend new sucklers for you to try or mobilize everyone for mass suckling events.

3. Management Wannabe
This type of employee is typically new to the company, wants to change everything and climb every single possible corporate ladder there is in the company. They will pull quadruple suckling duty to get the attention of the suckled, and perhaps nibble a little so as to get their attention.

4. Mr "Professional"
This type of employee is the one who tells everyone how they should suckle. The angle, pressure and duration are honed to an exact science. This employee will ONLY suckle to specifications, any divergence is met with skepticism and harshness, and will usually end up with a nasty bite to the suckled if a change of specification is requested.

5. The By-Left-Winger
This employee will do EVERYTHING to be considered to have gotten by an acceptable suckling session. Usually sloppy and lazy, but this is the type of employee to approach if you ever need an unscheduled and unconventional suckling to be done.

6. The By-Right-Winger
This type of employee will only suckle and nothing else. No special coddling or embrace. Suckling and ONLY suckling, unless the book itself specifies otherwise. No special treatment or extra mile from this employee.

7. Please Fire Bee

This employee is sick of suckling and will bite at any chance, leaving as deep a mark as possible. This employee will also BROADCAST that suckling is wrong and that everyone should just quit.

Done in collaboration with Colin Chen

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